Thursday, May 21, 2009

God's birthday present to Megan

I just got a “happy birthday” from God!! I have really been struggling with allowing myself to spend money on food. I have believed for so long that spending money on food is a waste. That is a faulty believe, however, and today God challenged me to buy bagels AND bread at the same time. This sounds so petty and silly, but for me, it is a HUGE challenge. I have lived in such a restrictive mentality for so long: Food-wise as well as financially. God has been saying, “Daughter, you are worth it. You are worth the food, and you are worth the investment.” This is so hard to believe, and so I have to step out into this new world of self-care in faith, believing that I am worth it even when I don’t feel that I am. I also have to believe that God will continue to provide financially as I am faithful. These are two GIGANTIC faith issues that I have to deal with simultaneously. Man, God! Can’t it just be one at a time? But He says no, that it will just build my faith double fast and doubly strong. I can’t argue with that, so I jump in with both feet.
In response to God’s call, I went and bought bread AND bagels tonight. It is a cute little discount bread market, where you can buy day-old bread for a fraction of the price. I brought my purchases up to the cash register, and the gentleman, not knowing the significance of his action, brought a chocolate cake up as well, giving it to me for free. I was floored! This was a blessing and a challenge at the same time. God gives you a chocolate cake, and I guess it is your responsibility to eat it and share it with those who have none!! Sharing is easy; eating, not so much. I was still speechless at the blessing when I made my next stop at the grocery store to pick up my milk. I carried it up to the cashier, who informed me that it was three dollars off. Free milk!! Free cake and milk in one night!!
God challenged me to get out of my restrictive mindset. I responded very tentatively in an extremely tiny way, and He blessed me far beyond I could imagine. If this seems very small, it may be small on the outside, but in my world, it is HUGE. It represents God’s provision, God’s reward for obedience, and God’s higher calling with a new challenge of chocolate cake.
After I got home with my victories and gifts this evening, a new thought dawned: This cake and milk are God’s birthday surprise for me. God actually GAVE me a birthday cake. No one orchestrated this birthday party. God threw me a surprise party tonight. I ate my cake in victory, thanksgiving, and freedom tonight with my Lord. This is my first birthday walking in freedom from the slavery that I lived under for 14 years. God just gave me a little treat tonight to help me celebrate. I LOVE 27!! I love chocolate cake, bread, AND bagels. I love freedom.

1 comment:

  1. Very awesome! I have the same issues with not wanting to "waste" money on food. This is very encouraging! love you! Stephanie